As I won't be sending out cards this year end, this post is an update on our year. Many thanks to the people who have kept in touch at this time over the past fifty years. The tree went up today after stubbornly refusing to be found. I was persuaded last year to buy a fake tree by the carers. Here it is with built-in flashing lights, erected in 20 minutes It was hiding in the loft.
We always had a real tree and Jean used to enjoy spending all day dressing it. Here is one in happier days, with a visiting friend
My wife Jean has been seriously disabled for 7 years now after three difficult decades for her. She has acute brain damage which has stripped her of language, reading, knowledge and ability to process radio and television. She does respond to music though and lives mainly in her own inner world. I look after her at home after a brief stay in an awful care home arranged by social care. They neglected to feed her a main meal four times in five days (fortunately I was there to insist) and once even forgot to put her to bed. We have evolved an effective routine at home, with carers coming in for an hour morning and evening and some respite/companionship time on some weekday lunchtimes. A year ago she was in hospital with malnutrition and dehydration (she seemed unable to swallow) and I was advised by the A&E doctor to arrange her funeral. Fortunately I was allowed to spend 5 hours a day at her bedside and make sure she built up her strength by eating properly and she was allowed home after ten days. Her room is what used to be the dining room, containing a hospital bed with air mattress, a hoist and a chair which prevents skin sores. She spends her day either in her chair or bed (both provided by the NHS) and sleeps a great deal, usually with Rosie the cat.
The cats are 18 now and both have a hyper-thyroid condition which require two tablets each daily, morning and evening.. One is incontinent which makes life interesting. First job of the day, cleaning it up.
The garden has been a struggle. I pay two young gardeners to keep hedges trimmed, shrubs pruned and odd jobs done, and a local plantswoman to help sowing and planting. I grow runner beans, beetroot, chard, rhubarb and green salad. Flowers include penstemons, salvias, cosmos, fuchsias and there are lots of shrubs - roses, weigela, mock orange, buddleias. Sadly it is not the joy it used to be, just a chore. Here is a callistemon, 'bottlebrush' flowering last week unseasonably.
Alas Covid has meant very fewer visitors over this year, but neighbours, nurses and carers have been good company. I have kept writing. This blog is a kind of day book, a bit more than a diary and you might enjoy some of the entries. Recently I have been reflecting on aspects of life and have found poetry to be helpful. I am strictly an inexperienced amateur but I have found the process therapeutic, challenging yet enjoyable.
I sadly have to report the death of family members Ian Madden and Matt Dagg, friends Viv and Sue, and several former colleagues. I hope you all have a good 2023. That may be optimistic but we can but hope. Stephen
2 comments:
I love your writing and hope you find peace in whatever you decide. Just realize that you have fans who will read whatever you write as long as we can find it, and I wish you could also write a book about prison system. Please take my uncomplicated request because I really wanted to hear some good explanations roughly that story; thank you.
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