Bullying not only causes misery but ruins lives. Pupils cannot thrive if others are attacking them, whether verbally or physically. Bullying focuses on difference, maybe racial, maybe religious, maybe physical (for having red hair, or wearing glasses, or being epileptic). It may pick on the victim, a soft target, someone without power who does not defend himself or herself.
In the 1980s, the Commission for Racial Equality wrote a report called Learning in Terror, describing how ethnic minority children had to suffer both name-calling and even physical violence in the playground and in the streets. Times have changed since then, but racist bullying is still around, more subtle. It is easy on the sportsfield to make that over-hard tackle when the referee is not looking. Sport can be a site of intolerance and tribalism, causing fear to its victims.
The mobile phone, texting, and emails have caused other opportunities for bullying, messages of hatred and exclusion, threats, and persistent abusive messages.
Bullying is wasting potential. Victims do less well, and do not achieve their potential. We may never know what that potential is, what benefits to the world might have resulted. It has gone, lost through depression, perhaps suicide. The victims may end up doing jobs beneath their potential.
Victims need supporting. Some of this is shelter, some building up their resilience. Aggressive bullying should not be tolerated in a humane educational establishment. Every effort should be made to ensure that victims are not disadvantaged.
Of course perpetrators should not benefit from their bullying: the reality is that they usually do. Managers and executives might be appointed exactly because they are "strong minded" (often a euphomism for workplace bullying). The bully also needs to engage with personal and social learning. In particular, they need to understand the consequences of their actions, the plight and feelings of victims. They need then to apologise and put things right. This prionciple is used in the justice system - restorative justice, restoring what has been violently taken. In schools colleges and universities, restorative practice allows no ducking of guilt, not being soft, requiring full recognition of pain given, and consideration of how to put right the wrong. The spirit of this is needed in education to ensure that no pupil bullies with impunity, and no victim is allowed to suffer in silence.
©Stephen Bigger 2008
Saturday 29 March 2008
Christians and Muslims
Television is a good way to meet old friends. Last night there was an item from Bristol in which an artist we used to know, Toni Robinson, brought together Muslim and white nominally Christian youngsters to talk to each other about their lives, beliefs and aspirations. As they got to know each other better, they were helped to paint self portraits which will go on exhibition in Bristol. The project is called, Knowing Me, Knowing You.
The lack of contact between communities like these living side by side but apart is a huge social problem so more projects like this should be encouraged. The ignorance of the general population to real Islamic values, beliefs and aspirations is almost total, so they never see beyond the media stories they see. Name-calling on the streets is one symptom, something that every Muslim has to live with here. Where people from different cultures meet and befriend one another, this ignorance disappears and respect grows.
©Stephen Bigger 2008
The lack of contact between communities like these living side by side but apart is a huge social problem so more projects like this should be encouraged. The ignorance of the general population to real Islamic values, beliefs and aspirations is almost total, so they never see beyond the media stories they see. Name-calling on the streets is one symptom, something that every Muslim has to live with here. Where people from different cultures meet and befriend one another, this ignorance disappears and respect grows.
©Stephen Bigger 2008
Muslims and Hindus
Today's task is to get ready some Hindu artefacts for a Muslim friend to use as teaching aids in a Muslim school. If that has made you blink, I am glad.
Hindus believe in one God, Brahma, who cannot be described. God is responsible for life in all its aspects. Hindus picture God through attributes. God is all wise, the solver of problems, the helper, the preserver, the rewarder of good deeds, the merciful, the just. Nothing in this is very different from Muslim beliefs.
Because Hinduism developed at a time when the common people were illiterate, teachings were given in pictorial language, and behind the stories were folk tales. These are symbolic and not to be taken literally as history. To say God is all wise, the picture is of the goddess Saraswati. Both male and female pictures of God are used to demonstrate that God is not one or the other. I asked some 8 year old what wise means, before discussing Saraswati. I will give you one girl's response later. After this discussion, they told me what the Saraswati picture means: she holds a book, to show she is full of knowledge; she holds a sitar, to show that she appreciates music and the arts; she holds a rosary to represent spirituality. She wears a crown, to suggest wisdom is queen, and she rides a swan to suggest grace and beauty. The water is calm, showing that wisdom creates peace. They have understood how to unpack a symbol.
Next I am giving her Lakshmi. The artifact is a wooden lotus bud which opens to reveal a tiny carving of the goddess. Lakshmi represents success and is the patron goddess of shopkeepers and business folk when stocking up and planning their new year. She stands on a lotus, calm on turbulant waters. The lotus is a thing of beauty with roots in the mud and filth, showing how a hostile world can be transformed. Success comes from diligence, hard work and good relationships - it is not magically dispensed from the skies. The new year is a time of healing, paying off debts and a reminder to make sure that bad blood does not hinder prosperity. In other words, we create our own success; and equally we create our own failures.
Next she will have Ganesh, the solver of problems and remover of obstacles. The children can talk about the nature of problems and obstacles and how they are tackled. Ganesh encourages us to draw on inner strengths to find solutions. Again, no magic solutions from above. The problem might be large and require great effort; or it might be small and subtle. The children can discuss examples of these and what might be needed to sort them out. And now the picture (or statuette). The greatest tool in India to remove physical obstacles is the elephant, so Ganesh has an elephants head. Myths have spun various stories to explain the family relationships which caused this, but this is beyond the symbol. If we throw weight against the obstacle, we need the tools - the community, the equipment. Ganesh carries a cake or breadbun, suggesting friends who eat together; a goad, suggesting that great effort will be required; and a rosary, indicating that the effort will be ethical and reflective. He has a broken tusk, as risks are needed. His 'steed' is a little mouse, telling us not to ignore subtle solutions - why knock a wall down when you can go through a little chink?
So religious language is symbolic language. Our solutions to problems, and our way to prosperity and wisdom, are inside us. We should not expect miracles. We have to summon up our inner strengths, be thoughtful, reflective, ethical, work in community determined to have good relationships. If we can achieve that, the world will begin to change.
Our friend will also receive Rama and Krishna figurines, but they are a longer story!
Hindus believe in one God, Brahma, who cannot be described. God is responsible for life in all its aspects. Hindus picture God through attributes. God is all wise, the solver of problems, the helper, the preserver, the rewarder of good deeds, the merciful, the just. Nothing in this is very different from Muslim beliefs.
Because Hinduism developed at a time when the common people were illiterate, teachings were given in pictorial language, and behind the stories were folk tales. These are symbolic and not to be taken literally as history. To say God is all wise, the picture is of the goddess Saraswati. Both male and female pictures of God are used to demonstrate that God is not one or the other. I asked some 8 year old what wise means, before discussing Saraswati. I will give you one girl's response later. After this discussion, they told me what the Saraswati picture means: she holds a book, to show she is full of knowledge; she holds a sitar, to show that she appreciates music and the arts; she holds a rosary to represent spirituality. She wears a crown, to suggest wisdom is queen, and she rides a swan to suggest grace and beauty. The water is calm, showing that wisdom creates peace. They have understood how to unpack a symbol.
Next I am giving her Lakshmi. The artifact is a wooden lotus bud which opens to reveal a tiny carving of the goddess. Lakshmi represents success and is the patron goddess of shopkeepers and business folk when stocking up and planning their new year. She stands on a lotus, calm on turbulant waters. The lotus is a thing of beauty with roots in the mud and filth, showing how a hostile world can be transformed. Success comes from diligence, hard work and good relationships - it is not magically dispensed from the skies. The new year is a time of healing, paying off debts and a reminder to make sure that bad blood does not hinder prosperity. In other words, we create our own success; and equally we create our own failures.
Next she will have Ganesh, the solver of problems and remover of obstacles. The children can talk about the nature of problems and obstacles and how they are tackled. Ganesh encourages us to draw on inner strengths to find solutions. Again, no magic solutions from above. The problem might be large and require great effort; or it might be small and subtle. The children can discuss examples of these and what might be needed to sort them out. And now the picture (or statuette). The greatest tool in India to remove physical obstacles is the elephant, so Ganesh has an elephants head. Myths have spun various stories to explain the family relationships which caused this, but this is beyond the symbol. If we throw weight against the obstacle, we need the tools - the community, the equipment. Ganesh carries a cake or breadbun, suggesting friends who eat together; a goad, suggesting that great effort will be required; and a rosary, indicating that the effort will be ethical and reflective. He has a broken tusk, as risks are needed. His 'steed' is a little mouse, telling us not to ignore subtle solutions - why knock a wall down when you can go through a little chink?
So religious language is symbolic language. Our solutions to problems, and our way to prosperity and wisdom, are inside us. We should not expect miracles. We have to summon up our inner strengths, be thoughtful, reflective, ethical, work in community determined to have good relationships. If we can achieve that, the world will begin to change.
Our friend will also receive Rama and Krishna figurines, but they are a longer story!
Effective schools?
To know if something has been effective, we have first to know what it ought to be doing, and in the light of that, what counts as success.Crude and superficial measures produce crude and superficial education. Our definition of effectiveness must go far beyond these to address social, moral and emotional issues, aspiration and equity, conflict and anger management, personal responsibility and pupil engagement. For an educational institution to be adjudged effective it has to meet the whole needs of each pupil or student, preparing them for a worthwhile adult life appropriate to their potential (which should never be underestimated). Since what counts as knowledge is constantly changing and we live in a world of information overload, it is more important to be able to test and apply knowledge than simply remember it. Thinking, philosophy and values should grow out of a healthy use of the word ‘why’. Education should enthuse and set up interests for life. The material will not do this by itself but requires adults who are themselves enthused. This enthusiasm may come from teachers, and from adults other than teachers that schools network with. This will provide role models to imitate, and encouragement to aspire. Non-authoriarian positive role-models are of great importance.
Educating the whole person encourages and enhances personal development as an individual, emotional control and maturity, social skills and attitudes, moral awareness of other people’s feelings and rights, cultural appreciation of ways of life different from their own. Education should encourage thinking, reason, rational argument and scrutiny of evidence, encouraging problem-solving, research, investigation and generally thinking things out. Pupils need to become critics in the best sense of that word - media critics, advertising critics, literary critics. Criticism means appreciating the good and recognising the weak, a long term task, not a quick target.
Education should encourage thinking about what sort of people we are and want to be, both in terms of qualities and aspirations. This has to do with personal qualities such as honesty, kindness, generosity, calmness, diligence, patience, resilience, reliability and openness. It also explores attitudes and values, those aspects of life we hold dear which are hopefully more positive than negative. Students need to be encouraged to reflect on these in ways which helps them to reassess the past and their behaviour and performance in the future. The problem-solver is likely to become a dynamic citizen. None of this can be measured by league tables.
Educating the whole person encourages and enhances personal development as an individual, emotional control and maturity, social skills and attitudes, moral awareness of other people’s feelings and rights, cultural appreciation of ways of life different from their own. Education should encourage thinking, reason, rational argument and scrutiny of evidence, encouraging problem-solving, research, investigation and generally thinking things out. Pupils need to become critics in the best sense of that word - media critics, advertising critics, literary critics. Criticism means appreciating the good and recognising the weak, a long term task, not a quick target.
Education should encourage thinking about what sort of people we are and want to be, both in terms of qualities and aspirations. This has to do with personal qualities such as honesty, kindness, generosity, calmness, diligence, patience, resilience, reliability and openness. It also explores attitudes and values, those aspects of life we hold dear which are hopefully more positive than negative. Students need to be encouraged to reflect on these in ways which helps them to reassess the past and their behaviour and performance in the future. The problem-solver is likely to become a dynamic citizen. None of this can be measured by league tables.
Social engagement
The ideal end product of education is that personally, socially and politically engaged and empowered people are able to contribute positively to community development and action. The roots of this lie early in life, where families and schools can inspire children. Equally the roots of disempowerment and apathy lie here too. A great deal of political effort has gone into providing school pupils with knowledge considered appropriate, and compliance is ensured through inspections. However there are in schools some unwilling participants in education who desperately need to make a personal breakthrough to move from a state of disaffection – emotional dislocation from school and from learning – towards motivation and engagement. One 15 year old girl put it this way:
“I was having a lot of problems at the time, my life was basically going downhill every day, I thought that I’d just end it. But … now there’s a reason to live, I am a good person, I can turn my life round. And I did. My friends think I’m more upbeat, my teachers think I’m more confident, people think it’s changed me, I’m more mature…And my behaviour is a lot better. Before I used to wander off I used to think, What the hell am I doing here, why don’t I just go home. But now I feel, I need to go to school, its education I need, and basically I’m a lot more focused in lessons. I’m able to do the work … and I enjoy the work a lot more than I ever did before.”
Emphases on social and emotional education, conflict resolution, circle time, mediation, and enjoyment all point towards that vital other dimension to education which can be described as empowerment, engagement, independent mindedness and emotional togetherness. In this individuals are engaged, feel ownership, feel able to make a difference and to tackle any problems that come their way. Fostering this personal empowerment may require a change of focus, particularly where educational procedures assume learner dependence rather than independence – dependence on materials, and on adults providing answers rather than having to think things out. Telling learners what we think (or what the government think) they need to know rather than encouraging them to explore and think for themselves, is a habit hard to get out of.
“I was having a lot of problems at the time, my life was basically going downhill every day, I thought that I’d just end it. But … now there’s a reason to live, I am a good person, I can turn my life round. And I did. My friends think I’m more upbeat, my teachers think I’m more confident, people think it’s changed me, I’m more mature…And my behaviour is a lot better. Before I used to wander off I used to think, What the hell am I doing here, why don’t I just go home. But now I feel, I need to go to school, its education I need, and basically I’m a lot more focused in lessons. I’m able to do the work … and I enjoy the work a lot more than I ever did before.”
Emphases on social and emotional education, conflict resolution, circle time, mediation, and enjoyment all point towards that vital other dimension to education which can be described as empowerment, engagement, independent mindedness and emotional togetherness. In this individuals are engaged, feel ownership, feel able to make a difference and to tackle any problems that come their way. Fostering this personal empowerment may require a change of focus, particularly where educational procedures assume learner dependence rather than independence – dependence on materials, and on adults providing answers rather than having to think things out. Telling learners what we think (or what the government think) they need to know rather than encouraging them to explore and think for themselves, is a habit hard to get out of.
Self-esteem, self worth, self confidence
Self-esteem and self-confidence are important in personal success. Personal experience of praise and criticism effects us, but adversity can promote determination in which self-confidence is achieved in the face of criticism. Our internal defences can make us impervious to unfair criticism, or we might be driven back into our shell.
Self esteem might imply that we are successful in our aspirations. What is meant by success is relative and a problem might arise if we or others have too narrow a definition – for example confining success to academic competence – and not recognizing other forms of success and not giving praise where it is due.
High self esteem can come from the praise of others and low self esteem from lack of praise or worse still, constant criticism and sarcasm. Self esteem recognizes that we have worth; it is a self assessment; it is not an obsessive need to be first, or right, or liked by others. We need to be able to admit that we are wrong without this destroying our self-esteem.
Self confidence comes from an awareness that we have particular abilities which we can use to solve problems. We are prepared to have a go; we have ‘agency’, active on our own behalf, self prompting, we are our own agent. If we are adaptable, we can get over inhibitions and nerves, it will be easier next time. Children and young people can be given opportunities to have a go at all sorts of things in safe surroundings.
Critique can be helpful rather than destructive, so even failure can be helpful. All people need aspirations and goals, things to work towards which they would find rewarding and satisfying. These may come from hobbies and interests, or may come from ambition to achieve certain things.
The start of this is for young people to begin to reflect on their abilities and the possibilities that these open up. For some they need their eyes opening that they have any abilities at all, since no one has told them so. Reflection needs guidance – someone to be encouraging, somewhere away from humdrum life that they can be quiet and think. Guidance needs accurate information and the awareness of who else to ask when a question goes beyond our own competence. Many aspirations are killed by an adult giving inaccurate information rather than admit ignorance. In some cases these moments of bad advice can ruin a life for ever.
Race and class have been part of this whole debate – with working class and ethnic minority youngsters feeling they can only have restricted aspirations and not aspire to university education and top jobs. They are wrong. A huge difference can be made with good teachers and powerful role models as early as possible.
Self esteem might imply that we are successful in our aspirations. What is meant by success is relative and a problem might arise if we or others have too narrow a definition – for example confining success to academic competence – and not recognizing other forms of success and not giving praise where it is due.
High self esteem can come from the praise of others and low self esteem from lack of praise or worse still, constant criticism and sarcasm. Self esteem recognizes that we have worth; it is a self assessment; it is not an obsessive need to be first, or right, or liked by others. We need to be able to admit that we are wrong without this destroying our self-esteem.
Self confidence comes from an awareness that we have particular abilities which we can use to solve problems. We are prepared to have a go; we have ‘agency’, active on our own behalf, self prompting, we are our own agent. If we are adaptable, we can get over inhibitions and nerves, it will be easier next time. Children and young people can be given opportunities to have a go at all sorts of things in safe surroundings.
Critique can be helpful rather than destructive, so even failure can be helpful. All people need aspirations and goals, things to work towards which they would find rewarding and satisfying. These may come from hobbies and interests, or may come from ambition to achieve certain things.
The start of this is for young people to begin to reflect on their abilities and the possibilities that these open up. For some they need their eyes opening that they have any abilities at all, since no one has told them so. Reflection needs guidance – someone to be encouraging, somewhere away from humdrum life that they can be quiet and think. Guidance needs accurate information and the awareness of who else to ask when a question goes beyond our own competence. Many aspirations are killed by an adult giving inaccurate information rather than admit ignorance. In some cases these moments of bad advice can ruin a life for ever.
Race and class have been part of this whole debate – with working class and ethnic minority youngsters feeling they can only have restricted aspirations and not aspire to university education and top jobs. They are wrong. A huge difference can be made with good teachers and powerful role models as early as possible.
Who to turn to
Humans are capable of great cruelty and great kindness. We have to choose which direction to take. Our circumstances may make it easy to be cruel, and difficult to be kind - peer pressure, fitting into a gang and so on. A child has to learn that choosing to be kind is a life choice, not a convenient strategy, and that once chosen there may be difficulties and sacrifices. So, if someone needs help, the positive choice is to offer it, even at personal cost.
Equally there will have been others who have helped us throughout our life, unselfishly and with good intentions. A child in school will have encountered unselfish people to turn to, who deal honestly and expect no return. At moments of crisis, they may have been helped by talking to a relative, or a friend. They have to distinguish between good advice and bad advice by thinking about social justice, honesty and trust. Both families and schools have a role to play, helping pupils to develop positive personal values. It doesn't happen by accident.
Of course, when we need the support, those kindly mentors are not always around. When anger erupts in the playground, the grandfather's reasoned guidance is far away. So the child needs that mentor in his or her head, a mental mentor. This is the social skill of asking, "what would my mentor do in this situation? what would they advise me?". To picture one's mentor mentally helps some. In such a visualisation, we might talk, play and do things mentally with our mentor. Christy Moore the musician described on Radio 4 how meeting with his dead father in his mind, and playing on the beach as though 6 years old, greatly helped him. He was able to have those discussions that he always regretted not being able to have. Children too can enter into similar discussions in their heads as easily as they can enter into a story they are reading. There is a dimension of imagination where such things can take place. The difference is that in fiction they enter someone else's world; in visualisation they enter into their own and can sort out their own difficulties.
Equally there will have been others who have helped us throughout our life, unselfishly and with good intentions. A child in school will have encountered unselfish people to turn to, who deal honestly and expect no return. At moments of crisis, they may have been helped by talking to a relative, or a friend. They have to distinguish between good advice and bad advice by thinking about social justice, honesty and trust. Both families and schools have a role to play, helping pupils to develop positive personal values. It doesn't happen by accident.
Of course, when we need the support, those kindly mentors are not always around. When anger erupts in the playground, the grandfather's reasoned guidance is far away. So the child needs that mentor in his or her head, a mental mentor. This is the social skill of asking, "what would my mentor do in this situation? what would they advise me?". To picture one's mentor mentally helps some. In such a visualisation, we might talk, play and do things mentally with our mentor. Christy Moore the musician described on Radio 4 how meeting with his dead father in his mind, and playing on the beach as though 6 years old, greatly helped him. He was able to have those discussions that he always regretted not being able to have. Children too can enter into similar discussions in their heads as easily as they can enter into a story they are reading. There is a dimension of imagination where such things can take place. The difference is that in fiction they enter someone else's world; in visualisation they enter into their own and can sort out their own difficulties.
Jane's Story
This story features a real girl whom we shall call Jane. She is now 10. Two years ago she was out of control, swearing at teachers, throwing chairs around, not learning anything and not wanting to be at school. Her life prospects were bad. She was very close to permanent exclusion from school. Things had gone wrong at home as well and her mother was in despair. All teachers will recognise the type of child she was. One year later, she was still at the same school and was awarded a prize for good behaviour - a prize fully earned. Her life chances are now good. She is young enough to make up lost ground. She is real, not fictional. Many other children really need a taste of success like this.
A second life story. We shall call him Trevor, not his real name but he is real. At 12 years old, he too was close to exclusion, at least his teachers thought him difficult. Like many boys like him, a future without qualifications lay ahead. That was 2001; but now Trevor is in University, studying computer science and preparing for something he had once never imagined - a career as a graduate.
The simple message is PLEASE do not give up on any child.
A second life story. We shall call him Trevor, not his real name but he is real. At 12 years old, he too was close to exclusion, at least his teachers thought him difficult. Like many boys like him, a future without qualifications lay ahead. That was 2001; but now Trevor is in University, studying computer science and preparing for something he had once never imagined - a career as a graduate.
The simple message is PLEASE do not give up on any child.
Breaking the Vicious Cycle
Our vital task as educators is to break into the vicious cycle, or the downward spiral, which keeps pupils thinking negatively. When? We cannot break through for children, but we can help them to break through. We can lead them to the point of readiness.We can change the picture they have of themselves in their heads.How long does it take to turn pupils around? Daniel Goleman & TheDalai Lama, in Destructive Emotions and Healing Emotions claim breakthrough through meditation to be through an 8-10 weeks programme. Visualisation – creating a positive reflective story for children to use as a mental template, shows similar changes after 6 to 8 weeks.
The example below sees breakthroughs in programmes of around 8 weeks using visualisation and discussion.
Swindon Youth Empowerment Programme – positive principles in education and upbringing
1. We have personal potential / inner strengths, called ‘gems’.
2. Dual nature (negative/positive). We have to choose which.
3. Positive interactions (speech, gestures) resolves conflict builds relationships and creates a positive environment.
4. Social cooperative action enables us to work together to build a better world.
5. Good examples and role models guide the choices we have to make. What would the wisest person we have known have done?
6. We can take control transform ourselves and our world have agency be engaged and empowered.
Mnemonic: GERMINATE (encouraging growth!)
We all have 'Gems', inner strengths;
Examples and Role Models can help;
Interactions (speech, gestures and attitudes) need to be positive
our Nature has positive and negative aspects to choose from;
Cooperative Actions help create a better world;
We can Transform our lives
and be Engaged in the community.
The example below sees breakthroughs in programmes of around 8 weeks using visualisation and discussion.
Swindon Youth Empowerment Programme – positive principles in education and upbringing
1. We have personal potential / inner strengths, called ‘gems’.
2. Dual nature (negative/positive). We have to choose which.
3. Positive interactions (speech, gestures) resolves conflict builds relationships and creates a positive environment.
4. Social cooperative action enables us to work together to build a better world.
5. Good examples and role models guide the choices we have to make. What would the wisest person we have known have done?
6. We can take control transform ourselves and our world have agency be engaged and empowered.
Mnemonic: GERMINATE (encouraging growth!)
We all have 'Gems', inner strengths;
Examples and Role Models can help;
Interactions (speech, gestures and attitudes) need to be positive
our Nature has positive and negative aspects to choose from;
Cooperative Actions help create a better world;
We can Transform our lives
and be Engaged in the community.
More positive schools?
Emotional well-being is one of the most important factors in school success. In other words, happy children learn best in the proper sense of this word. Of course, pressure-cooked pupils may get better results as “right answers” are instilled into them, but long term learning is something quite different. Therefore, the emotional health of people in school needs to be a top priority.I say ‘people’ because the tone is set by the staff. In a school whose (implicit) purpose is to traumatise pupils emotionally (with thanks to John Holt [How Children Fail] and Ivan Illich [Deschooling Society]) the following might be true:
This well describes part of my own school education.
Today, pupils bring emotional traumas from home and from the playground. Sometimes from a young age that makes learning difficult for them. Parents may be part of the problem, but they are also part of the solution. Pupils may be fine at home but be traumatised by school and become school phobic – this might be the result of bullying, or simply an inability to cope socially.
A successful school is one which adults and children are happy and fulfilled. Pupils in this context are likely to succeed and achieve. Emotional well-being leads to self-worth; being provides the foundation for caring for others. Praise leads to a can do attitude; however, especially when unjustified causes a can’t do complex. The latter is more common than the former. The aim of education is to develop habits of enthusiastic and independent learning, which involves a hunger to pass on knowledge and points of view to others. The educated person wants to help others to be educated too. The emphasis, as far as behaviour goes, is to develop self-control, and self-discipline. Education thus is about emotional understanding, self determination and motivation to learn.
Staff achieve control by punishment
Threaten frequently
Communicate by sarcasm
Insult and belittle pupils
Shout at pupils
Test what they don’t know as often as possible
Fail to deter bullies
Avoid physical contact when the pupil needs comfort
Encourage competition to show who is weakest
Encourage assertiveness and criticise shyness
Tell children to pull themselves together and grow up
Do not check that children understand
Regard failure as stupidity.
This well describes part of my own school education.
Today, pupils bring emotional traumas from home and from the playground. Sometimes from a young age that makes learning difficult for them. Parents may be part of the problem, but they are also part of the solution. Pupils may be fine at home but be traumatised by school and become school phobic – this might be the result of bullying, or simply an inability to cope socially.
A successful school is one which adults and children are happy and fulfilled. Pupils in this context are likely to succeed and achieve. Emotional well-being leads to self-worth; being provides the foundation for caring for others. Praise leads to a can do attitude; however, especially when unjustified causes a can’t do complex. The latter is more common than the former. The aim of education is to develop habits of enthusiastic and independent learning, which involves a hunger to pass on knowledge and points of view to others. The educated person wants to help others to be educated too. The emphasis, as far as behaviour goes, is to develop self-control, and self-discipline. Education thus is about emotional understanding, self determination and motivation to learn.
Learning at home
What children learn at home will affect them all their lives. Sometimes this is positive. If parents and friends talk often and openly about interesting things, the child will learn to understand and converse quickly. If not, they wont. If parents and others discuss pros and cons, they will learn to make decisions. If not they wont. If children critically discuss TV programmes, they will quickly become TV critics. This is all before they go to nursery school. Throughout the years of schools, discussions like this are important.
If however their experience of conversation is to be told off all the time, they will learn both that they are not accepted and valued, and that the purpose of conversation is mainly to criticise others. If they understand that they will get their own way by blackmail and tantrum, they will become expert at these. This will affect the kind of adults they will become. If you know adults like this, you can guess what their childhood might have been like. By then, it is hard to change.
If your children like themselves, and are helpful to you and to others, you are getting it right. If not, ask yourselves what needs to change for them to become like this.
If however their experience of conversation is to be told off all the time, they will learn both that they are not accepted and valued, and that the purpose of conversation is mainly to criticise others. If they understand that they will get their own way by blackmail and tantrum, they will become expert at these. This will affect the kind of adults they will become. If you know adults like this, you can guess what their childhood might have been like. By then, it is hard to change.
If your children like themselves, and are helpful to you and to others, you are getting it right. If not, ask yourselves what needs to change for them to become like this.
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