Self-esteem, self worth, self confidence

Self-esteem and self-confidence are important in personal success. Personal experience of praise and criticism effects us, but adversity can promote determination in which self-confidence is achieved in the face of criticism. Our internal defences can make us impervious to unfair criticism, or we might be driven back into our shell.
Self esteem might imply that we are successful in our aspirations. What is meant by success is relative and a problem might arise if we or others have too narrow a definition – for example confining success to academic competence – and not recognizing other forms of success and not giving praise where it is due.
High self esteem can come from the praise of others and low self esteem from lack of praise or worse still, constant criticism and sarcasm. Self esteem recognizes that we have worth; it is a self assessment; it is not an obsessive need to be first, or right, or liked by others. We need to be able to admit that we are wrong without this destroying our self-esteem.
Self confidence comes from an awareness that we have particular abilities which we can use to solve problems. We are prepared to have a go; we have ‘agency’, active on our own behalf, self prompting, we are our own agent. If we are adaptable, we can get over inhibitions and nerves, it will be easier next time. Children and young people can be given opportunities to have a go at all sorts of things in safe surroundings.
Critique can be helpful rather than destructive, so even failure can be helpful. All people need aspirations and goals, things to work towards which they would find rewarding and satisfying. These may come from hobbies and interests, or may come from ambition to achieve certain things.
The start of this is for young people to begin to reflect on their abilities and the possibilities that these open up. For some they need their eyes opening that they have any abilities at all, since no one has told them so. Reflection needs guidance – someone to be encouraging, somewhere away from humdrum life that they can be quiet and think. Guidance needs accurate information and the awareness of who else to ask when a question goes beyond our own competence. Many aspirations are killed by an adult giving inaccurate information rather than admit ignorance. In some cases these moments of bad advice can ruin a life for ever.
Race and class have been part of this whole debate – with working class and ethnic minority youngsters feeling they can only have restricted aspirations and not aspire to university education and top jobs. They are wrong. A huge difference can be made with good teachers and powerful role models as early as possible.