Christmas 2021

Christmas will be home alone, again. That was always a positive, a special time for Jean and myself, reading, listening to music, phoning family and friends. That will still be the same, a sabbath rest without guilt about jobs around the house. But with Jean now unable to have a conversation, it will have its lonely side. Cards are on route, around 80 of them. If I have missed you out, my apologies. Rather than write lots in every card, I am setting out our news here. There won't be any foreign holidays described, or even British ones since we are basically stuck at home. The carers persuaded me to put up a Christmas tree. It cost £50 online, five foot tall, lights integrated. The photo is of Jean's last real tree 6 years ago, a nice memory.

We have all had a tough year so no complaints from me. January 2022 will mark two years of housebound lockdown, which takes its toll, although social media, phone and email have left doors open to the outside world. Jean my wife suffers from brain damage and paralysis and I am now in my 6th year of caring for her in this state. A carer company give me an hour to get her up and an hour to get her to bed (her teacher pension funds it) and occasional hours for shopping, dentist and so on. The garden has suffered and I still need solutions  to maintain it. Jean had to go into hospital for ten days a short time ago to recover from dehydration. She looked very frail and the doctor warned me to expect the worst. I went in every day to get her eating and drinking again, but it was a close call. She is now eating and drinking well again but gets tired and lethargic. We had our 52nd wedding anniversary in August, without celebration of course. I notice that when returned from hospital Jean said 'I want my husband' so I guess I am in there somewhere. When briefly in an awful care home, I heard many women saying such things. Very sad. Have had no trouble with online shopping slots. Waitrose have us as 'protected' which offers priority bookings. We couldn't have managed without it.

Touch wood we have steered clear of the dreaded virus, largely by being very careful. I am having a go at future proofing the house, and have solar panels, renewed roof insulation (current stuff now 70 years old),  a refurbed drainage system and a renewed damp proof course. Well, we can't spend money on holidays nowadays. I am sure painting and decorating will come next. Decluttering is not as easy as it sounds, particularly in these covid days.  The attic has been emptied so now I need to wade through tons of stuff. I don't think I will need school and university notes, paraffin lamps, victorian sewing machines and heaven knows what else. 

I have managed a little writing, ending a long term project reviewing and republishing children's adventure series (seven introductions for Malcolm Saville thrillers for Girls Gone By Publishers). In addition I wrote an article for EJOLTS (Educational Journal of Living Theories, 14). I wrote a short piece on 'a week in the life of an unpaid carer' which went a little  viral and brought me into carer support groups. I am lucky to have survived six years of it relatively unscathed and have accumulated many online friends.

Some of you might know I had a long term stalker making death threats and dialing 999 to accuse me of abusing Jean. He tracked me for years via Facebook, creating more than 20 fake accounts. With police help we tracked him down and made his life very uncomfortable. My twitter account gave me a safe space.  It has been good to share ideas with people I have never met, and probably will never meet. Networking works differently today, even more so after these Covid -  Zoom years. Good also to hear from many old friends in real life. My cards have been on my desk for three weeks but haven't made it to the post yet. They offer Season's Greetings so should arrive between Christmas and  New Year.

The two cats are 17 now and ailing with hyperthyroidism. This requires 2 tablets a day, each. Fortunately they are insured. One is doubly incontinent so I have to sniff and locate throughout the day. After her return from hospital, an episode happened which necessitated the call for an ambulance. She was fine, but in the half hour this was happening the cat pooed on the kitchen floor. The paramedic photographed it, reported it to social services in case I 'needed support'. I didn't, but has inspired neurotic daily cleaning! I invited social services to check but they haven't so far.  Yesterday the house was very tidy. Today the attic is empty and I have to check through 50 years of papers and stuff, including school and university notes for both of us.

Best wishes to all friends and family. Thinking of you all. Happy cooking, reading, listening, viewing and whatever else turns you on! Keep in touch, if you can.  Stephen